gos with last post

something i didnt mention in my last blog he is a good guy and a great boyfriend but he just wasnt that boy for me...

My First Love with (HIM )

so man it started when i first saw him i dont knoe what about him was so amazing but it was something, we met in i think 3rd or 4th grade when he moved right behind me a few doors down in townhomes and i guess i fell in love instantly well puppy love off and on crushes trying to find what i loved about him in other guys always fantasying weirdly aboout what it would be like to be hiss and he be mine it was the elementry crushing...my brothers would clown my sister would get so annoyed because i would talk about how he looked at me or what he said to me that day for hours, i was so obsessed it actually really embarrising to think back at it but i wanted him to be my prince charming:)but i had moved on because i would here he has gurlfriends or liked someone else and so i started to loose faith in us ever happening so i had my boifriends he had his gurllfriends very rarley saw each other but even when we did a simple smile would always make me blush^.^i moved 5 years later i beleve and i had totally forgotten about him i started my life the high school life having fun and then the that day happened the day that i saw mr.barerra agean it was sometime in may or june i beleve him,his mom and sister came over and hung out renee was helping my sis with her college thing and i was finishing my essay and i come out of my room to see a tall handsom man smiling at me and when i saw that smile i got those same butterflies couldnt help but smile but i looked away trying to play it cool and i did..probally because i had been in a relashionship with someone already but toward the end of the night when he was going to leave he asked me for my number and i told him i didnt have a phone so he just gave me his and i would sneak my brothers phone and talk to him we would talk all night and even though i was with someone i only thouht of him and i was happy he would tell me how much he like me and how he use to crush on me to and the funny times when he would catch me staring or peeking ou side my window when he would ride his bike lol it was extremly embarrising but it was fun then i got caught using my bros phone wheni wasnt suppose to and couldnt talk only on facebook then the party came that we were throwing for my sis graduation and him and his family were comming but so was my boifrend but i didnt care i was ganna just dance and man did that night totally through me off cuzz not onlyy was erik georgious and have a great personality he could DANCE..i ended up braking up with my boifriend and me and erik started talking about getting together and i was kinda like i want to with you but i didnt want him to seem like a reboud so we waited a lil and i think about a month later we got together he came over and asked my dad and wow was that A night but anyways my dad said yes a the first month was great i was just so happy always, my dream was starting to come true we hung out talked all the time it was all great then it started changing everything was just falling apart things became good then bad then good then bad he got the wrong thought and i had wrong thought we both didnt trust each other and on august 22 my life as we knoe it ended i got a TXT saying can we talk i kinda was like uhhoh and it wasnt good but then he made it seem good then it seemed bad agean and stayed bad and it ended with a "brake" brake are for married people but i didnt want to let go it hurt..it was the first time i cryed over a guy for days i couldnt flurt i couldnt even really smile it was a heart brake i didnt want to beleve..but then things changed when he went on his trip for the navy recurting thing ggurls would post on his wall and it bugged me but what started to think of when we were together he wouldnt stop talking to ex for me hed be a dick sometimes he really didnt make that effort to talk to me and thats wheni realized there were my sighns i shouldve known..and nnow i seee that he cheated on his ex and im like wow never thought he would be that type of person but guys change and i will never put my hear into a guy like i did with him and for the first time im officially OVER! him!.

Dam someones got an additude today!]:/

I fuxxxn hate alchole with a passioon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,

if i wrote a note to God

headlines:)

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7.6.11 seal it with a kiss hehe :)

BE YOU!:)

Never was there a day such as today nor never will there ever be again

Instead of sitting there and waiting why don’t you let me in



Let us talk and share about things that are real, not pretend

Let out all that beauty that you keep hidden within



To yourself be true and true friends there you will find

Real friends will encourage you to express your mind



Sometimes you’ll be right and others you may be wrong

But there they will stand with you connected by true bonds



So don’t waste your days pretending to be what you are not

Because the you that you truly are is a beauty to be sought

ugg! this really needs to end!

so these people never use to drink and now latley they have been it was all good in the begging they would only do lil bit at a time to just relax then it got stronger and they started doing it more offten the mom usly just got buzzed and the dad would get drunk so problems started to evolve then bigger and bigger and many times they say were gana stop or the mom tells the dad u cant drink knoe more the 3 to 2 days later there another form of alchole bak into the house so no one really keeps there word it really bring so many problems in the house not only for my parents but for the kidss to it scares me because if it dosnt end somewere then when is it ever gana end it will only get worse and who knoes there daughter may loose a family tht i really care about they may say its not gana happen but there playin with the devel they can say what they want to think all they want but when they give him tht controll there s.o.l and i dnt think thats fair for any of us they should really take there own advvise and be a team... iv been trying todo my part by makking sure that im doing what i have todo and helping out and even been trying to get them togo to church because i really think our family needs it , we are going throu alot right now and there useing alchole instead of the lord and i knoe i havnt been the greatest kid in the world these past few months but thats why im really trying to change..i just need GOD and someone tobe there togo with me to physically support me but so far its only been GOD pointing me in the right direction...but i will just pray and see and wait for the time to come for my prayers tobe answered.

im on one:b

wow shes amazing!!!

lil-wayne

When I started flirtin with the hustle failure became my ex now I'm engaged to the game and married to success

thas wat its all about:)

tuesday:)

so today is tuesday yestrday was quit a day well i started this blogg thing and it was pretty cool still getting the hang of it im still trying to learn to read new bloggs or other bloggs ,then we went to go see captain america that was a great movie i loved it was just enopugh action and just enough romance it was great the only bummer about my day was i  was not able to talk to my boyfriend i mmiss him everyday that i dnt get to talk to him but today when i woke up i was just thinking to never let myself tget to close to a guy so it will be easier when i loose them and i was just noticing tht i really love this guy but ill servive maby i just need a few days to not talk to him but not enough to get him th9inking im not into him but i guess well see how all that planns out i know ill get throu it:)

ugg!

the thing that i can nopt stand is when you make an account and the password dosnt work its so annoying to me but whatever what can i really do but i guess i will just have to keep trying

starting somthing new:)

so today i just started a new thing called blogging iv always herd of it but never really looked into it,untill my parents recently got me into this online school called k12  were it had a summer class were u can learn so thts how i got into it its still alil confusing but im getting in it..